Dud or Stud?
Reading his body language
By JOANNE RICHARD
Special to the Sun
(Article quotes Patti Wood: www.pattiwood.net)
Will he be a dud or a stud? Well, don’t wait until you slip between the sheets to find out. According to the experts, there are telltale signs that will give you a reading before you find yourself …. on bedtime behavior.
According to body language expert Patti Wood, there are ways to read a man, including whether he’ll wow you in bed, “but remember, these are more indicators than certainties.” Wood, a non-verbal communication and behavior expert based in Atlanta, teaches a course for single people on body language and dating called "Love Signals- The Secret Signals of attraction, flirting, and courtship."
The Way He Drives: Does he take direction well or is there a high need to control? Expect the same in the bedroom, says Wood. “If he’s insensitive to your concerns, like speeding down the road while you are gripping the car seat in fright, then he is likely to be unaware of your needs when you are intimate.”
Also if he he’s a risk-taker on the road and you are aren't, and don’t feel safe, you’ll probably feel that same level of discomfort in the bedroom. Another biggie – how he takes care of his car: a man’s car is symbolic of the way he sees himself. if he’s driving a beater that’s in bad shape and disrepair, that says he does not like nor is he taking care of himself. That indicates he will have difficulty taking care of you, says Wood.
The Way He Eats: Though adventurous choices in food can reflect equal adventurousness in the bedroom, it’s not so much what he eats, but how he eats that offers clues to his sexual prowess, says Wood. “If he loves food and savors it and makes yummy noises, then he is likely to savor the sex too – The behaviors of enjoyment of food and sex are related.” Make him a great meal and watch closely! "But remember," she says, "his keenness may not reflect how good he is, just how much he enjoys it."
If He Exercises: Working out is a good sign of how he feels about himself "Regular exercise says he respects and honors body. If he is disciplined, you get not only a man who has more confidence and energy in the bedroom, but a great body as well.
The Way He Gestures: "If he’s got a lot of physical energy in his gestures and voice and is animated and dynamic, or he has a monotone voice and a stiff posture and no gestures, you are seeing indicators of his bedroom personality. A different way of reading his gestures is to look at the way he holds his hands when the two of you are alone together. Does he hide them by closing or putting them in his pockets? He may not be open and vulnerable in the bedroom 'til he does. On the other hand, showing the palms of his hands is also a good thing – it’s a sign of honesty and a willingness to open up and share during intimacy," says Wood. “The most satisfying sex requires vulnerability and exposure – and this person won’t be afraid in bed,” says Wood, adding that someone who takes themselves too seriously will be holding something back and will likely be less fun.
The Way He Dresses: “This can really fool you because this is more of a reflection of how he wants to be seen rather than what he’s really like,” says Wood. Just as you looked for signs of car care, you should look for signs he cares about his appearance-- Of course for young men that may just mean he changes his cap and T-shirt occasionally. “But if he pays attention to you and how you dress and pays you compliments and gives attention to something specific, like your hair or shoes, then he’ll probably pay attention to you in the bedroom too.”
The Way He Kisses: “The amount of time he spends and his inventiveness in kissing is a match for the amount of time he’ll spend on foreplay and the inventiveness he will have for it. When he stops enjoying kissing and you let him, a man sees that as a nonverbal signal you don't need as much or need any foreplay. Men are less astute than women in reading nonverbal signals, but research shows this is one they read that you may not even know you have sent. Kissing is indicative of playfulness, imaginativeness, willingness, tenderness,” says Wood. “Kissing and foreplay are mirror images.”
The Way He Dances: “If he’s confident on the dance floor, does it well and is in sync with the music, expect him to move and be in sync with you. The ability to read the music- indicates an ability and desire to read your signals.” Hey a guy doesn’t have to be John Travolta – “And remember the way a man enjoys music, like the way he enjoys food, shows a man’s desirability for pleasure.”
The Way He Interacts with Small Children: Is he tender and gentle? Does he get down at their level? “This is my favorite indicator. How he treats children is a terrific indicator of how he’ll be in the afterglow. He is gently attentive and patient. Those are wonderful traits for a man in the bedroom and in life." I always tell both my male and female clients that they should look for a partner they would trust with their imaginary three-year-old child. Each of us has a child inside and we expose that during sex - make sure you trust your sexual partner to take care."
It has been part of woman's primal instincts for mating to look for a man who would be strong, protective, and a good provider. “Look for indications that he also has a good heart,” says Wood, and author of Success Signals (Another Day Publishing)
Check out www.pattiwood.net