How can you tell when it is your turn to talk?

One of the participants in my recent body language and deception detection workshop asked me how you can tell when it is time to talk in a conversation. That may seem like an odd question. You might be saying, “Well you just know.” But many people, especially those who spend a lot of time interacting with technology rather than face to face with people have not had the practice and experience in picking up the language of the body. Like learning any language it takes time and practice to know the vocabulary. So here are some things to look for.

As a person completes what they are saying, they may drop their arms and lean back close their mouth and make eye contact as a way to seek feedback on what they said and in effect allow someone else a turn to speak A person wanting a turn to speak may lean forward, raise an arm or a finger as if to grasp the turn from the converser, or step or forward or open their mouth, raise their head and or puff up their chest with air in preparation to speak.

Why am I sharing these cues? Because your cell phone, your iPod, your computer, your television and all the other battery charged, plugged in doodads are actually re-wiring your brain and making it less and less likely that you and the people you interact with will be able to easily understand each other.